i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dignity is for republicans.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize