Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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