I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
