Swine flu. Run for my life!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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