The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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