Swine flu. Run for my life!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
