Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
