so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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