capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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