guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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