So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
