im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
birth control should be required to get into college
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
