Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
