I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm bleeding and have questions
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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