Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
