And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
