His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This is my gift to your gina
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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