I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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