dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
