Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
