from now on my penis is your penis
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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