The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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