you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
