Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my liver is dry heaving
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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