I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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