I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
