he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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