Do you still have your period?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
