Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
