I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Pooping to opera.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
