if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
