i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
