The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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