Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
