Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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