whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
