Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
