Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize