brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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