Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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