his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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