i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
