At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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