I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
