Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
