i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
