Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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