Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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