Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
