Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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