i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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