I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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