We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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