What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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