YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
